When is the right time to have sex after giving birth? It's a question many parents wonder and even more seem to fear. I want to start by saying there is no right or wrong answer to this question and it’s very much unique to the individual. Some women are ready almost immediately while others wait months. As long as you haven't been medically advised to not partake in sexual activity then when you do is entirely up to you.
Sex is Different After Children
After having children, sex is different. Different doesn't necessarily mean bad, but women particularly worry themselves over this fact. Although sex is different post children, it shouldn't be painful. If you do experience pain, then you should speak to your doctor to make sure everything is as it should be.
Don't Be Pressured
Ultimately having sex after children is down to how you feel and what you choose. Don't be pressured by society, friends, family or your partner to move faster than you want to. I knew loads of people that were happy to resume their sex life mere weeks after birth when I was still shuddering at the thought months later. Talking about it with your partner can help ease the pressure you may feel from people around you, even if it’s only from social media.
Your Body is Recovering
Birth is a physically demanding time for your body, so it makes complete sense that post-birth you enter a recovery period. This period is different for everybody and is often linked to the type of birth experienced. Don't rush this process; you will know when you feel physically ready to have sex again.
Pregnancy, birth, and becoming a parent can cause a massive surge in emotions. It's during these difficult times that our bodies often feel overwhelmed with hormones. These hormones can really impact our feelings, giving us a sense of elation one minute and almost depression the next. It's practically obvious that how we feel emotionally will play a part in our desire to have sex again - but this won't last forever. Once your emotions have calmed down, you may find you feel completely different towards sex. While feeling these surges in emotions is completely normal – especially in the first few weeks post-birth, you can always speak to your midwife or GP if you have any concerns.
Sleep Deprivation is Torture
In the past, sleep deprivation has been used as a form of torture, and when you become a parent to a newborn, you are sure to find out why! Those first few weeks, while that little bundle of joy settles, are hard. It's all night feeds and constant waking. That's if you get any sleep at all! When you are juggling all of the balls, it can be hard to have any desire to add sex into the mix. The good news is that this period is brief, although it won't feel it at the time. Once you start getting some solid sleep, you may find the desire to have sex increases!
You Might Not Feel All That Sexy
I have to be frank and say that my new mom days were probably the times I felt the least sexy. I mean, let's be honest, who wants to have sex when they barely have a chance to get dressed and when they do they end up with baby sick on their shoulder within minutes!! Some new moms seem to glow, and they manage and juggle, and they barely have a hair out of place. I am not that person, and if you fall into that category with me, you'll be forgiven for not wanting to have sex. The positive is that things get easier, and before long, you'll feel like you have your sexy back.
There are many different reasons why you may feel like you don't want to have sex pre-birth and most will pass quickly. Your body has been through an epic journey of pregnancy, birth and now the road of parenthood. Take every moment as it comes. So, when is the perfect time to have sex after childbirth? When you feel ready, you will know.